Friend Me

Most of us have seen the video of these two little friends running to hug each other.  It went viral on all the social media outlets.  It speaks volumes about how we've all felt at times during the past year and a half.  I know I sure missed hugs! 

Over the years and with the help of some great books and even a Ted Talk or two, I have figured out that I am an ambivert.  According to the thescienceofpeople.com, an ambivert is “someone who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion and can flip into either depending on their mood, context, or situation.”  Ambiverts have also been called “outgoing introverts”. 

For a long time I defined myself as hardcore introvert.  I am so that person who recharges with quiet alone time.  True to characteristics of introversion, I despise walking into a gathering and becoming the center of attention (please no surprise parties).  I also really don’t enjoy making small talk with people I don’t know.  Texting or messaging is much more appealing to me than a phone conversation.  Classic introvert.  Except that I really do like being social.  I get restless if I’m at home day after day without people time.  Now if I am to be honest, I like to pick my people to be social with.  But certain people in certain situations definitely do recharge me as well.  My poor husband gets to try to sort if I am an introvert or an extrovert on any given day.  Sorry, Keith! 

Because I am who I am, I tend to have close friends that I love being social with.  The kind of friendship that I enjoy includes fun outings but also meaningful conversations.  I like to be able to let down any kind of guard and have friends that I can trust to still love me in my best and worst moments.  I have had my best friend since 7^th grade, and though we don’t live close or talk all the time, we can pick up where we left off in any given moment.  She is one of the first people I would turn to for encouragement, prayer support, a shoulder to cry on, or a good laugh. We have had a few pretty memorable experiences that my parents never needed to know about, but she told them. Thanks for that, Mishell. I have a few other very close friends who are a network of people that I love spending time with and my friendships with them are so easy and fulfilling.  Then I have some casual friends with whom I do lunch with or chat from time to time and it’s always fun to catch up. 

A new kind of friendship that I’ve come to value is people I get to know on social media because of a common interest and then through online side conversations and interactions, you learn who they are and find you have more in common than you ever expected.  I have friends in all parts of the world.  I love knowing what life is like where they are and it makes me want to visit the places they live and meet them in person.  Social media is a weird world and there are precautions to take, but there are some pretty great things about it, too. 

I feel incredibly blessed that I have always had friends over the years who are just the right people for the season of life that I am in.  My bestie and I will always be friends because we are like family.  We have been through a lifetime of stuff together.  But I feel that lifetime friendships are rare for a lot of us.  Some people work really hard to keep up friendships over the long haul.  I wish I could say I was good at that.  What I’ve come to understand is that most friends are for a season.  It’s not that you intentionally stop being friends, but that life carries you in different directions and you just drift apart.  Social media helps with keeping up with them but the close ties aren’t there any more, you just have a bunch of good memories. 

There isn’t anything more valuable in life to me than relationships.  Even my introvert-leaning-ambivert  self values spending time with people.  I think that’s how we are designed.  We need each other, whether it’s for a season or a lifetime.  Thank you to all my friends from all the stages of my life.  Part of who I am, I am because of you.  You are precious and valuable beyond what I can express.