The Little Blog that Could

 This post is my official “5000 View” celebration as my blog blew past this number this week. When I embarked on this little blog adventure, I had not a clue I would end up here. In May I quit my job without any plan for what would come next. That is so not me. I’m a planner to the core, so this was a big deal.  This tripping into the unknown was a complete step of faith. I got some really good advice about trusting my heart and that I would know what the next step was when it presented itself. 

The idea of starting a blog was a complete reach. I needed a focus. I needed a way to feel like I was contributing. I didn’t know if it would even be read. But it gave me a small sense of purpose and fulfillment. I truly was clueless that it would have any kind of impact except to give me a goal, however small. 

I researched the best way to do a blog. I was overwhelmed by all the “for profit” information. I pulled from all I read about how to attract readers and keep them engaged. I read about “influencers” which apparently is how some people make a living or even a fortune in these times. I studied which platforms were user friendly as well as reader friendly. I felt intimidated.  Would anything I wrote even be interesting? Was there a way that maybe what I wrote could touch people or connect in any way? I knew from the start that this wasn’t a “for profit” venture for me. I feel that God gifted me with words and I felt compelled to use my gift that I had put on hold for so long. 

I feel incredibly grateful and blessed by those who read regularly and send me messages that a certain post inspired or encouraged them. Those of you who read and comment or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram (I’ve learned that Blogger, a Google platform, is not necessarily comment friendly for everyone) have buoyed me up in a time when I felt a bit lost and without clear direction.

So THANK YOU to each and every person who has read, commented, messaged, encouraged, suggested. I value you more than you could ever know. I’ve written some blogs that I have trashed. I’ve written a few that are in the pipeline waiting on timing. I’ve postponed some because suddenly I have new inspiration. So far I’ve not run out of words. Hopefully something has encouraged you or made you think along the way. This is definitely the “Flipside” of life for me. Hopefully the “Footnotes” will point to things that bring hope and peace and a little fun along the way.  Blessing upon blessing to all of you who continue to be my cheering section!! I am humbled and so incredibly grateful for your support. Maybe I’ll still be around for a “10,000 View” party. 

Kabul 8-26-21

 

Broken world. Broken lives. Broken hearts.

Nowhere seems untouched by violence and darkness.

What to feel.  AngerSadnessGriefHelplessnessHopelessness.

An overwhelming inner tornado of pain and loss.

An onslaught of want to have tears wash it all away. 

Understanding is out of reach. Patience is used up.

Victims crying out for rescue. Heroes being slaughtered.

But underneath and deep within there is a knowing.

Faith dictates justice and restoration.

God is not dead. God is not silent. God does not turn away.

Trust is hard when senses are on razor’s edge and hearts are torn apart.

He is a God of the broken-hearted. He is the restorer of all things. 

Surrender to the knowing, the faith, the trust.

“I am making all things new.” 

Il Gusto del Vino (The Taste of Wine)

Those who know me well have been expecting this post. I happen to be in the heart of Washington wine country at the moment.  Of course I would write a blog post about wine. There’s no question that I like it. I haven’t always liked it. It’s been an acquired taste in recent years. It’s partially understandable since I live in the second largest wine region in the U.S.  It mostly began with friends in Western Washington who took us wine tasting one weekend.  There’s something really fun about beautiful tasting rooms with pourers who can tell you about what they are pouring and why it tastes the way it does.  Even that very first tasting outing, I found wines that I didn’t expect to like, but they hit my palate just right.  I didn’t think I liked red wine up to that point, but I found a few I did like and putting them with the right food made them even more delicious and made the food taste better, too.

Since then, we have made a bit of a hobby of traveling to wine areas and doing tours or striking out on our own visiting different tasting rooms and getting to know the business and people involved in our local wine industry and the profiles of the wines they make.  Because I have an insatiable appetite for learning (you thought I was going to say “wine”, didn’t you?) what I found I enjoyed most about wine tasting was the opportunity to talk to the winemakers, hear their stories, ask them about their methods, learn the different types of grapes, and how they turn grapes into delicious wine.  I came to understand more about why I liked some more than others and what my personal taste profile is.  There’s also something to be said for gathering with friends, having a great meal, and sharing a bottle of really nice wine.  (And by the way, “nice” does not necessarily equate with expensive.)

All that said, this post is not really about wine, but about taste.  Some friends have told me that wine just tastes terrible.  For awhile I tended to believe that they had just never found their palate or tasted really good wine. I recently came across an article that examined taste in depth and it explains a lot about why people strongly dislike certain foods or wine in general. 

How do you feel about cilantro? People tend to either love it or hate it.  Some people describe it as tasting like soap or dirty feet.  Radishes?  Brussel Sprouts? Kale? Cloves? Coffee? I love my coffee black, but I have a friend who claims I drink hot water colored with a brown crayon.  I tend to not like bitter things. I abhor pineapple. (I know, that’s a weird one.) But as it turns out, there’s an explanation for different tastes.  The article classified people into general categories: non-tasters, average tasters, sensitive tasters, and super tasters. The degree of spiciness or strong taste you enjoy is directly related to which category you fall into.  It has to do with little things on your tongue called “papillae”.  Where they are on your tongue and how many you have determines taste tolerance. 

Relating this back to wine, non-tasters like big, bold wines and are not bothered by tannins (those things that come from skins and stems that suck all the moisture out of your mouth). Think Syrah, Malbec and Cabernet Sauvignon. Sensitive tasters want soft, smooth lighter wines like sweet or off-dry whites or Pinot Noir. This is why tasting wine matters.  If we want to enjoy wine we have to find our “category”.  People in the average taster groups enjoy lots of kinds of wine, while the non-tasters find soft wines watery or bland, and super tasters tend to not like the taste of alcohol at all.  Tasting notes are interesting, because often I don’t taste what the makers say I should.  But I do know there are distinct tastes in some wines that I either love or don’t enjoy at all.

However you feel about wine is great with me. If you're an abstainer, I have ultimate respect for that. I'll never try to talk you into trying if you're not interested. I also probably won't alter my opinion based on yours. I am very careful to be sure that I manage my consumption and that it doesn't manage me. If you already like wine and want to learn more, hop on a tour or visit a few tasting rooms and try something new. Or drop into the Cone abode - we usually have a bottle or two and are happy to share!  Cheers!

Anger Management

I will always prefer to write about uplifting things. I’m an encourager at heart and therefore, I tend to want to cheer people up and on, bring a smile, accentuate the positive in life. But lately I’ve been prompted to write about something we all witness and perhaps feel in a larger way over the past few years. And maybe it’s even something that we have participated in more than we like. 

I’m talking about anger. There’s a lot of it in the world today. People’s flash points seem to be at an all-time high.  We’re upset about politics and world events, how others are handling pandemic choices, even road rage is escalated to a dangerous point. We don’t like how our neighbors live, we’re mad at slow customer service, we get all up in arms about how other people choose to express themselves. In my mind, we’re just mad way too much of the time.

There is such a thing as good anger, or righteous anger if you will. We should be angry at the things that would anger God. We should be charged up about abuse, racism, injustice, poverty. But this type of anger hopefully leads to wanting to create change, to fix the broken things, to protect the innocent. However, lately, I have encountered so many people both in person and online who just rage over what seems so unimportant and trivial. Really must we blow up over parking spaces or someone driving slower than you prefer? Do we have to yell at people who are required to uphold rules where they work? Do you reach a boiling point over someone taking the last of an item in the grocery store? Does someone disagreeing with you cause you to block them on social media? 

If any of these are true, perhaps the issue is bigger than solitary incidences. Maybe you’re walking around with a whole lot of bottled up frustration over things you can’t control. Maybe you’re going through some really hard things and you can’t get past being bitter about them.  Maybe you have a short fuse that even you can’t explain anymore. Maybe your anger is in response to someone else’s anger (better known as third party wrath). 

But here’s the thing. The kind of anger we see all around us, and maybe sometimes even feel, is not productive. It’s a huge energy drain and it’s destructive. According to everydayhealth.com in the two hours after an angry outburst, your chance of heart attack doubles and chance of stroke triples. Ongoing anger weakens your immune system, exacerbates anxiety symptoms, and is linked to depression. It even creates inflammation in the respiratory system. Bottom line, being angry a lot shortens your life. 

Controlling anger starts with recognizing growing frustration before it elevates. When that feeling starts to flare, step away and take a break. Take some deep breaths and focus on something calming. It may not cure the feeling, but it might just help you respond to it without escalating to uncontrolled anger which often leads to rash decisions and inappropriate outbursts. Secondly, work to change your perspective overall. Look for things you are grateful for. Spend time with someone with whom you can talk through issues. Take a break from the news (I employ this practice regularly). Find a beautiful space in nature and walk it off. 

Lots of things in the world are broken. We can let that brokenness break us, or we can determine to look for the good. It’s always there. Sometimes we have to look hard and deep. When we find it, let's draw attention to it. We all get angry sometimes, but let’s all do what we can not to make it a way of life. Afterall, you only get this one – how do you want to spend it? 

Fall to the Bottom

Sometimes…..ok, more often than I care to admit….. I try to be in control of all the parts of my life.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m listening to direction or am I just inserting my own dreams and desires which dominate my choices.  The whole idea of surrender keeps coming up in my quiet times.  I want to surrender to God’s plan which no doubt is far better than any plan I could come up with.  My human me is so self-focused and self-serving and maybe a little afraid that God’s plan will take me outside of my comfort zone and challenge me to do something unfamiliar and scary.  So I embrace the idea of surrender, but it’s harder than it sounds to let go and let God. 

Often when we think of surrender, we think of it like a military term where we wave the white flag and stop fighting and accept defeat.  It’s seems like a bad thing. It seems like giving up.  But there’s a kind of surrendering that creates peace in a different way.  Instead of growing weary from trying to swim upstream against the current of whatever life is throwing our way, it’s allowing ourselves to go with the flow and let the current carry us.  It’s being able to rest in not knowing exactly where we are going to end up and hoping that there’s not a giant waterfall ahead, but accepting that if there is, we will be able to navigate it. 

Recently I read a devotional by Frank Viola where he stated that in navy SEAL training, candidates undergo something called “drownproofing”.  Their hands are bound behind their backs and their feet are tied together and they are thrown into the deep end of a nine foot pool. There are several exercises they are required to complete to continue in the program, two of which are bobbing up and down twenty times and retrieving a swim mask from the bottom of the pool with their teeth.  The difference between those who pass and those who don’t has to do with their ability to let go.  Those who succeed are the candidates who are able to relax, focus, and allow themselves to fall to the bottom.  They can then push themselves up with their feet to surface for air. Those who try to stay on top and swim end up failing. 

For most of us it’s a natural human tendency to want to fight, fix, and take control.  Sometimes it’s in our best interest to fight.  Surrender is quite counterintuitive.  There’s a big difference between strength in waiting and battle-ready strength.  One means gearing up and arming to fight, the other requires a confidence that lets us stay calm that things will work out as they should.  Letting go and waiting for direction about what to do next isn’t necessarily easy and it’s something we have to practice.  If we can learn to do it and trust God in the process, we find that peace that we’re all seeking. 

I’m working on being more dedicated to letting go and letting God. Maybe you’d like to join me in surrendering to the flow and letting the current carry you.  Keep your heart open and your mind flexible.  Stay focused, learn to relax and allow yourself to fall to the bottom when life throws you in the deep end. Find that calm confidence that will help you rise to the top. I’ll meet you there. 

Happiness Really is a Warm Puppy

Some time ago I asked for suggestions for what my readers would like to see me write a blog post about.  When you put these things out in the universe, of course you are going to get a challenge that stumps you a bit.  A friend from my Twitter page asked me to write about how pets can be a huge help with those who suffer from anxiety.  I have pondered, considered, researched because I really wanted to honor her request. If I am remembering correctly, she said for her it was a cat that provided companionship and comfort. 

I mentioned in a past blog that I grew up on a ranch where it wasn’t wise to get overly attached to pets because things happened to them. I think my first disconnect happened when my dad backed up in our driveway one cold morning and ran over our older dog who didn’t hear the car start.  Another lesson came for me when I raised a Holstein calf on a bucket because the plan for one of our cows to adopt him after losing her calf failed.  On a ranch you don’t keep steers around, you send them to market.  So my “pet” calf that followed me around like a puppy, got loaded into the stock truck with the other steers on auction day.  When I was in Jr. High my favorite quarter horse, my best friend for all my elementary years, got onto the railroad tracks and was hit by a train.  The train won.  I was devastated.  From that point forward, as much as I enjoyed pets, I kept a healthy separation.

My husband loves dogs and from the time we got married, we had a dog or two….or three.  When our kids were young we had the plethora of animal friends from gerbils to parakeets, rabbits, pygmy goats, a cat, even an iguana.  I could tell stories about the day the iguana got out of his aquarium when my husband was out of town.  We covered a lot of the animal kingdom.  With the exception of one particular female Australian shepherd that I loved dearly, most of our pets were a fun part of the family but I wasn’t totally invested.   After our kids were grown and gone, I was more than ready to be done with pets.  I still enjoy animals, but I’m pretty much all done with caring for them.

Honestly, I can’t really relate to those who have support animals to relieve anxiety.  I can’t say I never have occasional anxiety, but mostly I don’t suffer from debilitating anxiety that some people I know do.  A friend once told me about being on a flight with a “support turkey”.  I’ve had a little experience with turkeys and they would only increase my anxiety.  So I had to do a bit of research to begin to understand how pets can be just the answer for some who have anxiety issues. 

So let’s look at the research. Psychologists recognize that emotional support animals for anxiety can improve the lives of those experiencing symptoms and promote social interaction and connection that can protect against feelings of worry or fear.   Studies around pets and mental health show that petting and playing with animals reduces stress-related hormones.  And these benefits can occur after just five minutes of interaction.  Playing with a dog or cat raises levels or seratonin and dopamine.  Affection from a pet is usually unconditional which carries a large comfort factor for their owners.  I have a niece who just adopted a former service dog for a veteran who suffered from PTSD. 

The truth is that having a pet is a joy and a comfort for many people.  They value the relationship over the excess hair, muddy paw prints, occasional barf on the carpet, various potty accidents, the chewing stages, the vet bills. For them, It’s all worth it for the companionship and comforting qualities of a loyal animal friend.  For my friends who love their pets and find them completely gratifying as well as a companion who reduces anxiety, I salute you. I love your pet, too, and I am happy they reduce your stress levels. I’m just glad they live at your house. 

Overcomers Series Episode 3 – One Starfish at a Time

“One day an old man was walking along a beach that was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed ashore by the high tide.  As he walked, he came upon a young boy who was eagerly throwing the starfish back into the ocean one by one.  Puzzled, the man looked at the boy and asked what he was doing.  Without looking up from his task, the boy simply replied, ‘I’m saving these starfish, sir.’  The old man chuckled aloud, ‘Son, there are thousands of starfish and only one of you.  What difference can you make?’ The boy picked up a starfish, gently tossed it into the water, and turning to the man said, ‘It made a difference to that one!’ “

Doing research for this post was an oxymoron of heartbreak and elation. It’s a hard subject to write about and find a way to put a positive spin on it.  But I believe God sees and knows and sends light into the darkest of places on earth.  One such light is Tim Ballard. 

I first learned about human trafficking many years ago through my church.  We had a guest speaker that talked about how prevalent modern day slavery was becoming around the world and how our denomination was working abroad as well as at home in our own country to shed light on it and be part of a solution.  But even then, 20 some years ago, it was so big.  What our denomination was trying to do was just a drop in a giant ocean.  There were many new organizations cropping up to try to make a difference.  It was hard to feel like much could be done individually to help stem the tide and bring hope. That day my husband and I signed up to sponsor a five-year-old boy in India through our denomination’s worldwide child sponsorship program.  It wasn’t much, but it felt like something. 

Enter Tim Ballard.  To understand his passion and heart, you need to watch the documentary “Operation Toussaint” on YouTube.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q8dYM90PJA&t=10s  I was moved to tears more than once while watching this riveting story.  Tim is a former police officer who was working in Homeland Security here in the States.  The documentary tells how the work he did uncovering the sex trade industry fueled his passion to leave his job so he would not be caged by regulations and limitations of a government position.  He came to create Operation Underground Railroad, an organization whose sole purpose is to combat the evil of human trafficking wherever it is in the world. 

Tim is a naturally inspiring man.  When you listen to him speak, his passion as well as compassion are clearly visible.  He has a way of getting people on board with his mission, which is to rescue enslaved people, particularly children, and bring the traffickers to justice.  He and his team, which includes people from all walks of life, don’t sit in a board room trying to figure out how to make the mission work, they go on the front lines where the slave trade thrives.  They go to the darkest, ugliest, most horrific and dangerous places to liberate the innocents who are held against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts.  They don’t consider one child at a time too few to rescue.

The documentary does an amazing job of confronting the vast human trafficking problem and helps us begin to understand the magnitude and what must be done to make inroads.  Tim Ballard is willing to tackle it one country, one city, one neighborhood, one child at a time. It feels so big. It feels so insurmountable.  But in this huge, dark hellhole that seems impossible to fill, there is Tim Ballard.  Tim inspires people to go with him to rescue one starfish at a time, and Tim Ballard inspires me. 

The Magic of Sunsets

 

Ever changing colors as the sun surrenders to horizon’s edge

and dusk gives way to encroaching darkness.

A gift of creation to say “well done” for another day of life

on this revolving orb of blue and green and brown. 

Just as each day brings its own flair and flavor,

so each sundown spreads its own palette of blues, purples, golds and corals. 

Some are soft with light strokes of aqua and pink as the day goes quietly to sleep.

Others are bright splashes reflecting on clouds resisting surrender

and making a shouting statement of not going down without a fight.

Sunsets signal a turn in all the events of the day;

night covers like a blanket of quiet and calm and peace.

Halcyon Days

I’ve spent the last few days with my sister and other family members camping in the beautiful Flathead Valley in the Montana mountains. In recent years we have had a designated weekend for the Jones (my family of origin) side of the family to gather. It’s our attempt at keeping connection since my parents passed because it’s very easy to just go about separate lives and lose touch. Quite often on these weekends together, Sandy and I reminisce about childhood experiences and we find that each of us have memories that the other wasn’t aware of.  It’s like mining for buried treasure in our pasts and it often leads to laughter and a sense of gratitude that we grew up the way we did.  Now we enjoy sharing great memories of happy times.

In a book I’m currently reading, I came across the term “halcyon days”.  It’s a literary term and I had encountered it before and understood the basic meaning, but had never explored where the term came from.  It refers to times of happiness and contentment, a sort of idyllic view of periods in our lives that leave us with a sense of nostalgia and satisfaction.  It’s a feeling of serenity and peacefulness with some joy mixed in such that we remember them vividly.

“Halcyon” comes from a Greek myth and is a story of Alcyone (or Halcyon), the daughter of Aeolus, the god of winds, and Ceyx, son of the morning star.  Halcyon and Ceyx married and were blissfully happy.  Somehow in their love story, they angered Zeus, so while Ceyx was out at sea, the god threw a thunderbolt at Ceyx’s ship and killed him and his crew.  In her grief, Halcyon threw herself into the sea.  The gods took pity on her and turned her into a kingfisher who built her nest floating at sea at the winter solstice.  Supposedly the Greek gods calmed the winds and seas for the nesting and hatching of her offspring.  Thanks to the legend, halcyon days came to refer to any peaceful time in the midst of adversity.  Through time and more modern literature, it mostly refers to joyful and innocent times in a person’s life.

I’m quite sure most of us can look back in our lifespans and remember some times that are etched in our memories as exquisite, peaceful, unforgettable moments.  For me those might include riding my favorite horse bareback over the hills and valleys of our acreage along the Montana Missouri River.   I think of family picnics to Lyons Creek with a fat watermelon floating in the water to stay cool.  I have joyful memories of laughing till I cried with my best friend over the silliest things.  Snuggling my newborns in the middle of the night ranks right up there.  I definitely would include watching the sun go down on my favorite Maui beach and searching with my kids for starfish in tide pools on the Oregon Coast. 

What do halcyon days look like for you?  Are they all in the past, or are they something we can still create at our current stage of life?  I want to be more intentional about making opportunities to experience more of them.  We may not be able to plan for them to happen at specific points in time, but the more we leave ourselves open to making room for beautiful, peaceful, joyful moments, the better chance they will happen.  “The quintessential human psyche has a tendency to reminisce about the halcyon days.  But we must remind ourselves daily that our potential is still inchoate (just beginning) and our best days are ahead of us” (Jeff Davis).  Let’s agree together to allow more time for halcyon days starting now.  What does your next halcyon adventure look like?

Learning to Breathe

Most of us don’t think about breathing. It’s innate. It’s the very first life lesson that comes when we are born. It’s what obstetric doctors and new parents anxiously wait for in the delivery room. The ability to breathe is required for life. If you don’t breathe, you die. Most of us just do it from birth on and we take it for granted. We don’t really think about it until we can’t breathe.  Some people have disease or injury that make it difficult to breathe and they think about it every day. If we are suddenly submerged in water, we definitely fight to surface so we can get that air our body needs for survival. 

Every system in our body requires breathing. When we inhale, air enters our lungs and oxygen moves from our lungs to our blood. At the same time, carbon dioxide, a waste gas, moves from our blood to the lungs and is exhaled. This process is called “gas exchange” and it is essential to life.  Respiratory failure is a serious condition that develops when the lungs can’t get enough oxygen into the blood. Buildup of carbon dioxide can damage the tissues and organs. If our blood oxygen levels get too low we experience headaches, dizziness, shortness of breath, confusion, chest pain and high blood pressure. 

Thinking about my own experience with breathing (something I’ve been doing for a few decades now), I began to wonder why we sigh and yawn. Sighing is like a long, deeper breath. I tend to sigh when I feel exhausted, exasperated, sad or when I feel relief. Most often sighs are associated with some kind of emotion, but they are important physically to give an extra infusion of oxygen that our bodies need from time to time. When our oxygen levels drop for whatever reason, a sigh tends to bring them back up to normal. Yawning has a similar effect in the body. When we are bored or tired, we breathe more slowly and not as deeply.  Yawning, like sighing, helps bring more oxygen into the blood and move more carbon dioxide out. Yawning can be a social response as well. Seeing someone else yawn triggers a response in us to yawn. Yawns are “contagious” if you will. 

In spite of the fact that most of us take breathing for granted, there are things we now know about intentional breathing that improve our health. It can be a powerful tool to calm our mind and body. If we focus on our breaths, we can slow our breathing which helps us relax and lower our heart rate and blood pressure. It can reduce stress and emotional responses.  It clears our thinking and improves our memory. If we practice controlled breathing regularly, we feel better! 

In recent years, I have found tremendous benefit to taking time out to get still (being in nature is my favorite), close my eyes, take regular deep breaths, exhaling slowly. When I do, I can hear my own heart beating and feel the tension leave my body. It’s great for slowing down the buzz in my brain so my creativity can rise to the surface. Many of my blog posts and poetry come after I get quiet and breathe intentionally. As I write this, I’m in a campground on the Flathead River very near Glacier Park in western Montana (see photos). It’s a great place to breathe, allow my mind to slow down, and soak up the beauty around me.  

Learn to breathe. Give yourself that much needed break to slow your breathing and let all the cares of life exit with the carbon dioxide.  It’s amazing what some extra oxygenation can do for your mood and energy.  Don’t wait till your stress level is at near combustion stage.  And while you’re at it, thank God that you’re still breathing.  It’s easy to take for granted.  Deep breaths, everybody!  And don't forget to exhale....