Anger Management

I will always prefer to write about uplifting things. I’m an encourager at heart and therefore, I tend to want to cheer people up and on, bring a smile, accentuate the positive in life. But lately I’ve been prompted to write about something we all witness and perhaps feel in a larger way over the past few years. And maybe it’s even something that we have participated in more than we like. 

I’m talking about anger. There’s a lot of it in the world today. People’s flash points seem to be at an all-time high.  We’re upset about politics and world events, how others are handling pandemic choices, even road rage is escalated to a dangerous point. We don’t like how our neighbors live, we’re mad at slow customer service, we get all up in arms about how other people choose to express themselves. In my mind, we’re just mad way too much of the time.

There is such a thing as good anger, or righteous anger if you will. We should be angry at the things that would anger God. We should be charged up about abuse, racism, injustice, poverty. But this type of anger hopefully leads to wanting to create change, to fix the broken things, to protect the innocent. However, lately, I have encountered so many people both in person and online who just rage over what seems so unimportant and trivial. Really must we blow up over parking spaces or someone driving slower than you prefer? Do we have to yell at people who are required to uphold rules where they work? Do you reach a boiling point over someone taking the last of an item in the grocery store? Does someone disagreeing with you cause you to block them on social media? 

If any of these are true, perhaps the issue is bigger than solitary incidences. Maybe you’re walking around with a whole lot of bottled up frustration over things you can’t control. Maybe you’re going through some really hard things and you can’t get past being bitter about them.  Maybe you have a short fuse that even you can’t explain anymore. Maybe your anger is in response to someone else’s anger (better known as third party wrath). 

But here’s the thing. The kind of anger we see all around us, and maybe sometimes even feel, is not productive. It’s a huge energy drain and it’s destructive. According to everydayhealth.com in the two hours after an angry outburst, your chance of heart attack doubles and chance of stroke triples. Ongoing anger weakens your immune system, exacerbates anxiety symptoms, and is linked to depression. It even creates inflammation in the respiratory system. Bottom line, being angry a lot shortens your life. 

Controlling anger starts with recognizing growing frustration before it elevates. When that feeling starts to flare, step away and take a break. Take some deep breaths and focus on something calming. It may not cure the feeling, but it might just help you respond to it without escalating to uncontrolled anger which often leads to rash decisions and inappropriate outbursts. Secondly, work to change your perspective overall. Look for things you are grateful for. Spend time with someone with whom you can talk through issues. Take a break from the news (I employ this practice regularly). Find a beautiful space in nature and walk it off. 

Lots of things in the world are broken. We can let that brokenness break us, or we can determine to look for the good. It’s always there. Sometimes we have to look hard and deep. When we find it, let's draw attention to it. We all get angry sometimes, but let’s all do what we can not to make it a way of life. Afterall, you only get this one – how do you want to spend it?