The Gift of Second Chances

Every now and then something happens in the everyday, ordinary things that we do that turns a day upside down; things that make you stop to pause and reflect, and they stay with you. The past few years, before things got weird with eating out and being close to people, Keith and I used to go on a happy hour date night every Thursday. We tended to gravitate to the same places that we knew had good deals in the late afternoon so our dates weren’t an extravagance. It was a chance to reconnect, have conversations we might not at home, and just enjoy spending time together. 

There is one particular restaurant that we returned to on a regular basis. It became our “go to” because the food was great and the staff was the same from week to week (if you watched the television series “Cheers”, this was the place where everybody knew our names). We got to know our servers and they always seemed glad to see us. One such server was a guy who always greeted us warmly, asked what was new with us, and took great care of us so that we were always glad he was there when we showed up. 

One day as we sat in our usual place in Jimmy’s section, he said, “It’s been great to serve you guys these past couple years. You won’t see me here after tonight. I’m moving.”  We told him we would be sad not to see him anymore and asked about his plans. He took the time to tell us that he had been incarcerated and because of that he had lost connection with his family, and particularly his only son. He shared that he had worked hard to get his life back on track and to reconnect with that son. “I’m moving home to Oregon to be close to my family and get to know a grandson I haven’t met yet.”

I still think about Jimmy whenever we go to that particular restaurant. I think about his second chance at life. I don’t know what had landed him in jail, but he was given a shot to start over and worked hard to put the pieces of his life back together. He was so pleased and proud about reconnecting with his son and couldn’t wait to move closer and work at being family after all the years he had missed.

The thing is, when we met Jimmy, we never would have guessed his backstory. He just seemed like a nice guy and hard worker at a job he probably didn’t love, but he did it cheerfully and was great with his customers. He didn’t have to tell us what he had been through, but he was brave and chose to put himself out there because he was proud of how far he had come after making some mistakes with hard consequences. That last day we saw Jimmy, we congratulated him and wished him all the best at rejoining his family. 

For me it was a lesson about second chances that has stayed with me. When we know someone’s story and we aren’t necessarily approving of their choices, are we willing to offer second chances or do we write them off? Do we allow people to regain our trust once they’ve blown it? Do we offer acceptance or keep them at arm’s length?

I understand that we need to set boundaries with some people, but I think the answer comes in that each and every one of us have had a second chance that perhaps we take for granted. None of us are perfect and we are very human, which means we are prone to messing up. But we have a God who never writes us off and gives second, third and fourth chances every single day. Should we do any less for those around us? 

Jimmy, thanks for being brave with your story. I would love to know how things are for you now. I hope you stayed on track and have an awesome relationship with that grandchild. I’ll likely never know for sure, but I like to think of you as one who did not take his second chance for granted. Hopefully I am as grateful for mine.